Me Tarzan, You Teenager In Love...

I woke up feeling down and tense today. A sense of frustration and that horrible feeling that it's all pointless. So once I had packed M off to work I decided to watch a film I had taped a few days ago, "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes". I remember when this film came out 22 years ago, mainly because I left the cinema with a major crush on the actor Christopher Lambert who plays John Clayton (the character is never referred to as "Tarzan" in the movie). Now, I was 17 at the time, and still coming to terms with my sexuality. It might sound ridiculous, but this was the first time I had ever felt such a strong attraction to anyone. I even had a photo of him on my wall (I wonder what my Mother thought?). I suppose as he wasn't "real" it was safe, but the feelings were real and it was very curious. I went to see the film a further couple of times. It became a mini obsession that lasted a few months. So I was curious to see the film again, as I don't think I have watched it since. Would it still have the same appeal? Well, the answer was yes. Christopher Lambert isn't classically good looking but for me he has something - it's partly those deep set eyes and the way he smiles. There is also the accent (I blame him for my predilection for French men). He plays the character with just the right amount of vulnerablility. It's a relentlessly depressing film - virtually everyone he loves dies. Ralph Richardson is great as his grandfather (who dies) and his real mother and father die soon after he is born and both of his ape "parents" get killed (see, he has a hard time, it makes you want to give the boy a hug). Did I cry? You bet. Did I see why I fell in love with him? Oh, yes. It's that mixture of the quirkily handsome sexiness and the whole sad lonely lost and vulnerable thing. Gets me every time. I love the scene where he gets Andie MacDowall to close her eyes and then mimics a big cat coming up and pouncing on her - it's very sexy. It's probably the best and the most intelligent adaptation of the Tarzan story and the performances of Lambert, Richardson and also Ian Holm lend it weight and credulity. Sigh. I may have to watch it again.

The Small Picture

After several people telling me I should try and sell my stuff on E-bay, I finally decided to put my handmade cards up for sale. They didn't sell. Primarily I think because people aren't really shopping for cards on E-bay, and if they are they want cheap and cheerful. My cards are cheerful and I don't think they're particularly expensive but for whatever reason no one bought. However, looking around the site, particularly at the artwork on sale, I noticed a curious thing called ACEO - Art Cards Editions and Originals. Basically small paintings, 3.5 inches by 2.5 inches - original paintings, not prints. Miniatures. So I had a look - some of these little pictures were getting bids of £50 upwards. So I thought I might have a go myself. So I sat down yesterday and got painting...
I figured I'd do a few and then pick the best to put up for sale. These are examples of two I have done. I'm quite pleased with them. They are quite fun to do - there is the challenge of painting at such a small size and compositionally you have a limited amount of space to fill. So it's good for experimenting. I'll put them up at the end of the week.

Curtains

It's been a good while since I posted on here. As I suspected would happen when I began this blog, while I write plenty of stuff in my personal journal, that's a different kettle of fish to what I'm willing to publicly reveal. There again I make the presumption that someone is reading this stuff - but then I guess we all do and we sustain that belief or really why would we bother? I mean, if we wanted to just write, we would use a diary, or keep it a private blog at least - but we don't want to just write. We want to believe that someone, anyone, is going to read it. Of course, partly it depends what we want to write about. I've been browsing some of the blogs - just clicking on the recently updated blog section and seeing what comes up. Amongst the political opinion blogs, the whine and whinge and rant blogs, the celebrity gossip and music blogs, and just plain bizarre stuff, there is some very personal stuff. Couples discussing (and presenting explicit photos) of their unconventional sex lives, day by day accounts of teenage love triangles, soul-searching sadness, accounts of holidays and travel trips, funny, witty diaries and lots of family events noted and photographed and displayed. Human life, in other words. Little bits of text that say "I'm here!" It struck me that if I ever felt lonely (which thank God I don't very often), to read some of these blogs would alleviate that feeling. Flick through these paragraphs of other people's lives, and if you look long enough you will find something to touch or amuse or interest or annoy you. Granted, it can be a bit like standing in front of someone's house and peeking through a gap in the curtains but at least you know they opened the gap deliberately and you aren't doing anything you shouldn't. So, I've decided I must update more often. Open the curtains a little more.